Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Want to avoid an abusive relationship? Watch out for these signals!

If you're dating someone, and you notice that many of these points apply, there is a high probability your partner will become abusive. Each example on its own may not mean he or she is an abuser. The signs may appear gradually over time once the "honeymoon phase" has faded, and he/she is no longer on "best behaviour."

1. Pushy and judgmental - knows what's best for every one (especially you) - they are always right, never admits they are wrong
2. Wants to fast-track the relationship - sex, moving in, sharing your stuff
3. Moves addresses a lot, has a lot of debts, blames others
4. Often needs to borrow money (including yours)
5. Has whole areas or times in their life they won't talk about
6. Hits or puts down children or is cruel to pets
7. Poor relationship with family members, has few or no long term friends
8. Takes no responsibility for their part in previous failed relationships - blames their ex-partner for all their problems, including a difficult or nonexistent relationship with their children
9. Doesn't give you space - phones a lot, treats your body as if it's their property
10. Heavily into car image, drives aggressively, ignores needs of passengers
11. Likes loud music on their terms - intolerant of other types of music
12. Smokes, drinks and does drugs to be tough
13. Uses pornography, massage parlours, escort services and prostitutes often
14. Wants a lot of sex - on their terms, assumes you will take care of contraception
15. Impatient with foreplay
16. Dates people much younger.
17. Has a double standard - wants to change you but not themself
18. Is jealous of your opposite sex friends and former partners - acts hurt, upset or moody if you give attention to someone else.
19. Expects to take the lead in all aspects of the relationship.
20. Ridicules people who are different - calls men different from him 'queers' or 'gay.' Equates feminism with being anti-male, or lesbian. Considers strong or opinionated women 'bitches' or 'butch dykes.'
22. Gets off on fights, sees them as proof of manhood or "might makes right."
24. Won't cook or do housework - expects parents or someone else - maybe you - to assume responsibility for "taking care" of basic daily chores.
25. Non-verbal, very intense, staring
26. Has a stand-over manner or extremely rigid, domineering posture.

Auditing a relationship - 3 levels of risk

Check if any of these statements apply to your current partner, companion or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Warning signs

• He/she is jealous and doesn't like you talking to others of the opposite sex, or people he/she perceives that you might have a sexual or romantic interest in.
• He/she criticises your friends and wants you to stop seeing them
• He/she wants to know where you are and who you are with all the time
• He/she tries to control your contacts with members of your family
• He/she often criticises what you wear or how you look
• He/she often criticises what you say and do
• He/she questions what you've spent money on
• He/she expects sex on demand when he wants it

If they apply, he is attempting to control your activities and who you see and talk to. If he can do this you will be much more dependent on him.

Hazard lights

• He/she tells people about things you did or said that are embarrassing and makes you feel stupid.
• He/she blames you for things that go wrong for him/her.
• He/she makes jokes which put you and other people of your gender down.
• He/she calls you fat, lazy, stupid, ugly, a slut, or other things to make you feel bad.
• He/she ignores your opinions or objections and does only what he wants.

If any of these statements apply to your partner, he/she is putting you down and making you feel less confident and less in control of yourself.

Danger zone

• He/she drives too fast or does other dangerous things which scare you .
• He/she goes too far when you are playing around and hurts you or holds you down to make you feel helpless.
• He/she gets angry or violent when he/she drinks or uses drugs.
• He/she threatens to break your belongings or destroy your property.
• He/she threatens to hit you, hurt you or your friends, your pets or family.
• He/she threatens to leave you or to kill himself if you don't do what he wants.
• He/she forces you into sexual acts you don't want - by threats, coercion, or physical force.
• He/she gets very angry about small unimportant things.
• He/she won't express his thoughts or feelings and then he/she blows up.
• He/she hits or physically assaults you in some way - he/she may express regret and guilt afterwards but that doesn't stop a repeat of the behavior.

If your partner does any of these things, he/she is threatening you, is abusive, and in some cases physically violent.

No one deserves to be treated this way!

Everyone deserves a safe home!
Practice harmlessness in word, thought and deed with the ones you love!

This site is maintained by THUNDERBOLT DESIGNS
Contact THUNDERBOLT DESIGNS
WEB SITE URL: http://www.a2zgorge.info

DISCLAIMER: A2Zgorge.info is an information and referral service provider and is not liable or responsible for direct services provided by any individual, business or organization listed. Please report any problems you experience directly to the business or organization in question. If you do not receive satisfaction, we suggest you file a report with the Better Business Bureau . The information on this site is for information purposes only, and not to be considered legal advice, or to take the place of consulting an appropriate medical or mental health professional. Would you like to make a correction or an addition? CLICK HERE